general Double identity

Tonight I bought a paper shredder. It’s something I’ve been meaning to do for a long time.

I read reviews on Amazon at work today. Here’s a factoid: People who are pleased with their shredders do not write Amazon reviews. Every shredder sucks! Every shredder is too heavy! Every shredder gets jammed! Every shredder lasts a year then dies! Every shredder can only handle one sheet at a time! And so on and so forth.

I did learn a few things from the reviews: buy a shredder that comes with a basket; don’t buy one with a mesh basket, as it “bleeds paper dust”; buy a shredder that’ll handle credit cards and CDs. All sound and sensible. And handy, since I thought I wanted one with a mesh basket.

So I decided to just buy one that looked nice. There was a Michael Graves one listed, and of course it looks great. It’s sold through Target, so I figured I’d save the shipping time and just go to the store on the way home from work.

Of course, Target, home of Michael Graves design, does not actually stock the Michael Graves shredder. So I bought the middle model of the line they do sell. (Axeus Embassy TQ81Bi. The difference between the TQ81B and the TQ81Bi is that the “i” model is white. This is how pervasive Apple design is.) There’s a big label on the box saying it comes with offers for “identity theft insurance” and that sort of crap. So I registered it online, figuring what the hell, and lo and behold, one of the “special offers” is a free TransUnion credit report and a YEAR of emailed credit report updates. That’s awesome. That’s like forty bucks if you buy it.

I’m a total nut about watching my credit report. I’ve spent hours debating whether to keep my old, zero-balance accounts open or not (current wisdom is keep them open). I know my credit score and its (pathetic) position on the percentile scale. I know the “tiers” the lending industry uses and that I am seven points away from the next one. I know my score is higher than the line between “prime” and “sub-prime.” I know my total debt. I already have a subscription to Experian’s Score Watch, which alerts me when a balance goes up or my score changes. And now, for free, I have a subscription to TransUnion’s service too.

You know what? I feel great about that.

The fact that there’s a certified letter from the condo company waiting for me at the post office only slightly lessens my good feelings. I really hope this is the letter that has a purchase price in it. Whether it’s a price I can afford or not, it’ll be a load off my mind. It’s a month and a half late, and with only 94 days remaining on my lease, I’d really like to be better informed as to where I’ll be living on day 95.

In other news, today is my parents’ thirty-seventh wedding anniversary. They’re supposed to give each other a gift of alabaster.