work Shelley’s such a fucking moron.

Posted February 7, 2005 • Comments Off on Shelley’s such a fucking moron.

A moron in that way that my generation and (especially) the one after it have of calling anyone who doesn’t know everything you do about technology a moron. She actually is one, but I wanted to point out that I understand that it’s not that simple all the time.

Shelley just came and announced—not asked me, announced—that she was putting me down as the contact on a new proposal under the question “are you able to manipulate and retrieve data from a database and convert it to XML?”

Why, yes, Shelley, I know I was a print production artist this morning, but in the last two hours I have become a database programmer, nay a veritable SQL expert! Please, allow me to cover all your database needs. I know I was using Adobe InDesign to lay out pages all day, but I happen to have all sorts of database management server software running right here. I paid for it myself since the company didn’t have it.

It took WAY too long for me to explain this simple concept:

Let Set A represent THINGS YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE.
Let Set B represent THINGS THAT ARE ELAINE’S JOB.
Let Set C represent the DIFFERENCE between Sets A and B.

In the real world, A – B = C, and database XML is in C.
In Shelley’s world, A=B, there is no C, and everything from databases to 3D modeling to milking the goddamn cows is something I must know allllll about.

This post is now in RSS. There’s your XML.

iTunes is playing Yahoo! by Erasure. I gave this 4 stars, and I’ve played it 6 times. It’s from The Innocents.