This piece of paper has been on my desk, religiously being updated, for several months now. The little stars were people I particularly liked at first; some were crossed out as I changed my mind that I liked others better. And I’m not ashamed!

The other night I needed to go to Target after work (you may recall, I bought a paper shredder). I’m in the habit of writing notes to myself on my hand from time to time, but I didn’t feel like writing “Target” or (especially) “shredder.” So I drew this instead. It came out so perfect I had to document it. And I did not forget to go.

One of the things in the boxes my parents brought with me on their recent visit was this t-shirt commemorating my sixth-grade graduation. If you wanted, I could tell you an anecdote about every one of these people. Some would come easier than others, but still.

As always, I am last.

Lastly, last night I went to see Jonathan Coulton at Jammin’ Java. I went by myself, which you may know is rather unheard of. I’m so glad I went. I had such a good time. He was a real treat to see live.

Last night there was an ambulance out front, and I watched them put a lady in the back with her foot wrapped up in a great big bandage. I don’t know any of my neighbors by sight so I didn’t really think about it. (Deborah just pointed out that on hearing “ambulance” her first thought was that something had snapped and the neighbor on the other side had finally started smacking Dominique around. Good point. That wasn’t it.)

Anyway, upon seeing it was an older lady whose life wasn’t actually in danger, I didn’t really think about it until just now, when my next door neighbor’s sister came out onto the deck to walk my next door neighbor’s tiny, tiny Chihuahua and asked if I’d heard anything last night.

Turns out the lady in the ambulance is the lady who lives next door to me, who has the deck next to mine, and who has 1000 plants that she takes way better care of than I take of mine.

Her sister said my neighbor fell down the deck stairs (which we share) and broke her ankle and lay there for 15 minutes, screaming for help. And no one heard her. Her sister said she said “my neighbor always has her door open, but last night I could see she didn’t!”

So now I feel really, really bad, thrice over.

First, I feel bad that I didn’t have my door open last night and didn’t hear her yelling.

Second, I feel bad that she knows I have the habit of keeping my deck door open on pleasant nights (I have a screen in the doorway so I can) and I don’t know anything about her.

Third, I feel bad that I’m relieved I didn’t hear her, because if I had, I would have had to rescue her.

Fourth (yeah, I know), I’m pissed at the ambulance guys, who I happen to know brought her up the deck stairs and through the house and down the front stairs to the ambulance, when they should have gone around the building.

The sister (and the sister’s kid) were kind of laughing about it, and she said my neighbor was wearing flip-flops, which I learned a few years ago not to do on these particular stairs, and obviously a casted ankle isn’t going to ruin anyone’s life. And I was horrified when she told me, and I said I was (and I am, kind of) sorry I didn’t hear her yelling. But I still feel like a scumbag all around.

Tonight I bought a paper shredder. It’s something I’ve been meaning to do for a long time.

I read reviews on Amazon at work today. Here’s a factoid: People who are pleased with their shredders do not write Amazon reviews. Every shredder sucks! Every shredder is too heavy! Every shredder gets jammed! Every shredder lasts a year then dies! Every shredder can only handle one sheet at a time! And so on and so forth.

I did learn a few things from the reviews: buy a shredder that comes with a basket; don’t buy one with a mesh basket, as it “bleeds paper dust”; buy a shredder that’ll handle credit cards and CDs. All sound and sensible. And handy, since I thought I wanted one with a mesh basket.

So I decided to just buy one that looked nice. There was a Michael Graves one listed, and of course it looks great. It’s sold through Target, so I figured I’d save the shipping time and just go to the store on the way home from work.

Of course, Target, home of Michael Graves design, does not actually stock the Michael Graves shredder. So I bought the middle model of the line they do sell. (Axeus Embassy TQ81Bi. The difference between the TQ81B and the TQ81Bi is that the “i” model is white. This is how pervasive Apple design is.) There’s a big label on the box saying it comes with offers for “identity theft insurance” and that sort of crap. So I registered it online, figuring what the hell, and lo and behold, one of the “special offers” is a free TransUnion credit report and a YEAR of emailed credit report updates. That’s awesome. That’s like forty bucks if you buy it.

I’m a total nut about watching my credit report. I’ve spent hours debating whether to keep my old, zero-balance accounts open or not (current wisdom is keep them open). I know my credit score and its (pathetic) position on the percentile scale. I know the “tiers” the lending industry uses and that I am seven points away from the next one. I know my score is higher than the line between “prime” and “sub-prime.” I know my total debt. I already have a subscription to Experian’s Score Watch, which alerts me when a balance goes up or my score changes. And now, for free, I have a subscription to TransUnion’s service too.

You know what? I feel great about that.

The fact that there’s a certified letter from the condo company waiting for me at the post office only slightly lessens my good feelings. I really hope this is the letter that has a purchase price in it. Whether it’s a price I can afford or not, it’ll be a load off my mind. It’s a month and a half late, and with only 94 days remaining on my lease, I’d really like to be better informed as to where I’ll be living on day 95.

In other news, today is my parents’ thirty-seventh wedding anniversary. They’re supposed to give each other a gift of alabaster.

Ah, ha ha ha.

The new GE commercials designed for DVRs are adorable.

“I Am Still Toucan.” “Kelly, also a toucan.” I love it.