Here are things I have accomplished in the last few days (that is, “this weekend”).

-Filled new refrigerator/freezer with semi-healthy groceries from Trader Joe’s
-Straightened said refrigerator/freezer
-Vacuumed entryway and entire main floor, prompted by stains and detritus left over from delivery of said refrigerator/freezer
-Removed baby gate from window and stored next to refrigerator/freezer
-Mopped kitchen floor
-Reduced number of boxes of books next to said window from two to one
-Plugged lamp into switched outlet, previously inaccessible due to baby gate storage and top box of books
-Reduced number of VHS tapes stored in other window by half
-Filled no fewer than FIVE Trader Joe’s bags with books and videotapes to be given to the Book Thing
-Straightened out and readjusted and reorganized bookshelves to take advantage of newly freed spaces
-Put away books I made that were sitting around, and organized entire 1.5 shelves of them in rough chronological/subject matter order
-Reunited three treasured books with their dust jackets
-Culled and straightened books on the small bookcase in my bedroom
-Washed and dried four loads of laundry
-Planned new plan for closet to avoid having to page through dozens of never-worn and out-of-season shirts to get to one I’m willing to be seen in
-Organized and culled my toolbox
-Straightened up my hall closet
-Spackled the shit out of a huge hole in my hallway wall
-Complained to the Washington Post about receiving no paper on March 5 and only the bad half on March 12
-Finished watching season 1 of “Battlestar Galactica” [note: would have been best to have disc 1 of season 2 in hand holy crap omfg cliffhanger]

Here are things I will have accomplished by tomorrow morning:
-Vacuum bedroom and under bed (Edited to add: I no longer need to vacuum under the bed as the storage units now cover the floor [this is logical]; I no longer need to vacuum the whole room as the carpet cleaners basically did that; I DO still need to vacuum the corner behind the lamp where the dust bunnies have their never-ending fan convention)
-Give away old inkjet printer (check!) and old serial drawing tablet (check!) to the quickest two of the 30 people who emailed me instantly after I listed them this morning in the free stuff section of craigslist
-Buy under-bed storage units at Target (check!); store extra comforters therein (check!)
-Change sheets on bed (check!)
-Do at least one more load of laundry (check!) (check!) (check!)
-Buy fire extinguisher (Edited to add: I was waiting on this to ask David if there was anything I needed to know beyond ‘ABC.’ He says there isn’t, so it’s still on the list.)
-Put another layer of spackle on said hole (check!)
-Buy sandpaper (check!)
-Launder my spring jacket (check!), which smells like I stored it in a tauntaun all winter

Here are things I will have accomplished by Wednesday night:
-Clean up/pile up things around the house to make room for carpet cleaners, who are coming (at no expense to me) Wednesday at 1 pm to fix stains left on carpet by delivery of said refrigerator/freezer and quite possibly cleaning whole house too yay (Edited to add: I didn’t, but they did, and it’s fine. I did clear the front hall and stairs where the stains were, so it’s fine.)
-Send a kitchen towel to my aunt (check!) and send the hilarious kitchen towel chain letter to six unsuspecting “friends”
-Sand the spackled wall (check! DAMN I am a good spackler.)
-Send Matt his DVDs and books (check!)
-Send a video game I sold used on Amazon (check!)
-Send Mark a present along with his copy of the towel chain letter
-Send my mom a silly present I got her
-Drop off a maintenance list with the landlord

I am, how you say, ON FHAY-ER.