general Here’s the thing, and I’m sorry.

Posted October 5, 2005 • Comments Off on Here’s the thing, and I’m sorry.

Lin and Max live here, have since September 3, and I’ve noticed something. I don’t need to express my thoughts—my ideas, the funny anecdotes of the day, the clever puns that pop into my head every fifteen minutes—in the usual ways and places any more, because I keep telling her everything.

When Mike Myers was on Inside the Actors’ Studio, he explained that losing his father, who died too young, was like losing the ability to “cash in” at a casino. His achievements and experiences were like chips, and telling his dad about them made them into cash money: it made them real.

For me, it’s similar. Nothing’s real until I describe it. Usually it’s to Lisa or my mother, and sometimes it’s here, and often it’s to myself, silently. I live a highly narrated life.

But since Lin’s been here to listen to me, whether she does so willingly or not, I find that I don’t write Lisa and Wayne ten emails a day any more. I don’t blog any more (though I do have two completed crossword puzzles sitting on the scanner). I don’t even call my parents more than once a week.

I didn’t mean to take my business elsewhere, but that’s what seems to have happened. It’s not a permanent situation—sooner than I think I’d like, they’ll be back to their real home—but for now that’s how it is.

I have a casino cashier on my couch.